*+ i'm dug empty +*

Lots of tinks happen within tis few days..

Firstly..

My ah jie went over to perth for her studies.. which make mi emo and out of energy.. n i m still trying to adapt to the empty atmosphere that i have at home.. esp in my rm.. whenever i have people around mi.. i'm fine.. but when i'm alone.. i'm.............. *speechless*..

Secondly..

Bb~s guild matters.. which means audi stuff.. i noe.. that i shouldn't b bothered so much abt game stuff.. cos it's virtual and not real.. but from the moment we all became real friends.. it's hard not to bother.. becos.. i realise that.. it's becos of audi.. that we r having quarrels.. isn't it??.. if u realli look carefully into all the quarrels.. it all becos of audi.. N than.. after the quarrels.. it leads to real life.. as in.. whenever we had quarrels in audi, eventually we will feel kinda.. awkward whenever we meet up in real life.. though sometimes quarrels help ppl in making the bond in between them stronger.. but sometimes.. it may end up in the opposite way.. N we so coincidently falls into the opposite way part.. if we continue behaving tis way.. one fine day.. even our rl friendship may jus *poof*.. n gone.. which i dun wan too.. but when will all tis tinks end??.. it jus seems so endless isn't it.. sometinks can b solved.. but sometinks.. jus can't b solved..

becos we are the guild leader of Bb~..
we have to bear all the responsibility of everytink even when it's not our fault..

becos.. we r the guild leader of Bb~..
we have to take up the blame for those who caused the trouble even when we dunno anitink..

becos we r the guild leader of Bb~..
we are supposed to handle everytink even when we r not link wif it..

becos we r the guild leader of Bb~..
we have to take up everytink n solve it regardless of whether we r in the picture anot..

We have to do all this.. jus becos.. WE R THE GUILD LEADER..

i'm not being angry now.. neither m i pissed off now.. i'm having a clear,right n calm mind now.. that's y i m typing all tis.. in tis kinda weirdy hour.. cos i can't slp becos of tis..

I care..
becos i treasure the friendship in between all of us..

I care..
becos i dun wanna c Bb~ nor the rl friendship to be gone one day esp becos of audi stuff which is definitely not worth it..

I care..
becos i wan everyone to b happy..

I care..
N that's y i m now in the middle of the nite not slping.. becos i m being bothered by it..

But.. it realli isn't easy to handle all the tink.. like i said.. We r the guild leader.. but we r oni human.. we have feelings too.. we have our own personal life to handle wif too.. we can't possibly noe wat's actually happening to everytink that has already got out of hand.. we dun have supernatural power to handle the tinks..

i may sound harsh sometimes.. but my main motive.. is definitely not creating quarrels.. i'm not psycho n neither m i a person who loves to make trouble.. i may sound harsh too becos i m like a siao cha bo whenever i am in audi.. so whenever i starts to b serious.. the tinks that i type out jus sounds not nice.. i noe all tis.. but if i were to b kidding n also serious at the same time.. i might sound like i m jus playing around.. n tis will oni further irritate the ppl who r involved.. that's y i rather sound serious than to let ppl tink that i m playing around..

i'm already empty and tired becos of my own personal stuff.. N it jus seems like.. i'm going back to the past HBF~.. where all tis happens.. i settled once for all tis.. n i have to repeat everytink again.. when i thought.. Bb~ would neber b like them.. cos we r all not troublemaker.. we all like peace don't we??.. if not.. we wouldn't be close in the first place..

If...... i were to leave Bb~.. will it solve all the prob??.. frankly speaking.. though i love Bb~ alot.. but if i were to leave the guild.. n everytink would b fine for u all.. i dun mind.. as long as.. our rl friendship is still intact, safe n nice.. i dun mind.. i realli dun..

To add on.. sometimes.. it's not about time that is needed.. it's not abt the skills that is needed.. it's not abt the effort to make tinks better needed.. cos.. sometinks.. r jus meant not to b solved.. u can't actually change the hatred feeling that particular someone has for another person rite.. once u dislike a person.. that's it.. u may be able to tok a lot of sense to them.. but whether they will listen or they wun.. it's up to them.. sometinks r oni meant to b help to a extend.. n u can't go ani further than that.. u can changed a person tinking n feeling towards another person.. but it depends all on the person who is actually having the feeling.. like wat i said.. i shall repeat again.. sometinks can b solved.. but sometinks.. jus can't b solved.. no matter how much effort u put in..

Alrite.. i'm getting brain dead becos i tink too much le k.. i shall go rest now..