*+ wat m i exactly to u??.. +*

from my title.. ya.. i was tinking wat m i to that "sumone".. it's not that i dun wan to trust u.. but.. tinking back.. wat did u do to make mi trust u exactly??.. N ya.. i noe.. i should trust u.. cos i jus should.. but.. by gifing mi the insecure feeling is making mi hard to trust u.. i'm not a chio bu but neither m i a ger who can't b seen.. N pls.. it's NEBER EVER becos that u r shuai that i agree to b wif u okie..

i'm not a ger who will "si chan lan da" when the feeling in between has fade.. N i will let go when it is time.. it's jus becos of the feeling that i agree to b wif u.. which is obviously needed for 2 person to get together.. Whenever i said sumtink.. u will tink that i dun trust u.. but did u ever did something that make mi secured.. n trust u.. u didn't okie.. u said that i scare u that day when i sms "byebye" to u.. N u said that i dun trust u but did u ever tink that wat makes mi feel so.. n y did i feel so insecure.. if if.. u were to gif more attention to mi or at least.. make mi feel that u r there.. would i feel so??.. i wouldn't.. i'm not a kid neither m i a ger who need the full attention.. i dun ask for ur companion all day round.. i jus need the feeling of u r there for mi.. n u r real.. but u jus make it dun seems so..

I'm ur gf in name but i dun feel that i m a gf to u.. it's realli xin ku to have tis feeling okie.. i asked n prompt u before that isit that u wanna brkup.. but u say no.. n that's y i'm hanging on to it.. cos i remembered wat i promise u.. but u jus seems to forget wat u have promise mi.. isit so hard to keep a promise??.. that's y there's the saying of "promise are meant to be broken but not meant to b kept".. I wanna trust u.. but jus do sumtink so as to make mi feel that i can trust u??.. it's not difficult isn't it.. ><..

Arh.. watever.. watever it is.. than let it b.. i can't b bothered... i dun have the strength to say anitink.. n ya.. i dun even noe wat i m typing now.. N i seems contradicting here n there.. =.=!!.. i was like.. jus feeling damn bored now in sch.. plus i didn't have enough slp.. n plus.. tis tink makes mi feel like as if i m deprived of oxygen.. i jus feel so suffocating.. n that's y i came to blog.. though i dunno wat i m typing exactly.. but i jus feel that i needed somewhere to let off everytink.. n so the oni place is here..

My eyes are closing soon.. Jus gonna end here.. I realli hope that u will b able to c wat i wrote.. but i tink it's kinda difficult for that to happen.. i shall get my ans by today..

















=== wat m i to u??.. ===

Alrite..

Bye~..

-- x3~ Loves ~x3 --

Oooo.. ya.. i was like suppose to actually blog yesterday.. ahhas!!.. but due to some emergency circumstances.. i was not able to do it.. ahhas.. Nnn.. the emergency circumstances was that.. i'm lazy.. n sleepy.. that's y i dun have the mood.. neither the strength to blog anitink.. ahhas..

Alrite.. met out wif my dear dear lover SHIRLEY ANG JING JING && her audi couple Mr BISCUIT THOMAS XIE yesterday.. ^^.. quite a fun day meeting the both of them.. ahhas.. enjoy it and we had a fun time crapping around.. didn't noe that Mr biscuit can b so crappy.. N arh N arh.. his "cold" skills can be on par wif my deardear ah bao okie.. lalalas~.. both of them are so "cold".. my goodness.. =.=!!.. one day.. i would surely be "cold" to being a ice berg.. than u ppls can c a singapore ice berg k.. no need to go to the Antartica le.. ahhas..

Oh ya.. n to add on.. my sweet, cute, lovable, clever lover(as wat she called herself, ahhas..).. made some handmade tinks for mi.. N n.. that's so sweet of her rite.. ahhas.. Love u lotslotslots okie lover.. *SMOOCHESSS*.. ^^.. Appreciated it.. N i shall boardcast ur art piece to others okie.. ahhas.. So ya.. the belows are some photo i took of what she made for mi.. ^^.. ENJOY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

















The envelope of the letters.. N than..

















One of the letters that she wrote.. x3s~..

















The 2nd letter that she wrote.. ahhas..

n here comes the handmade masterpiece by lover Shirley Ang..

















Tah daH~~~.. tis was named ermm.. "qing tian wa wa".. as given by her.. ahhas.. N.. it's damn cute okie.. hoho~..

N finally.......................................................................................................

















The overall tinks that she made for mi.. ahhas.. it's inclusive of 2 letters n a doll made by her.. xD.. Not inclusive of the fan remote okie.. its was there to actually support the doll to make it stand.. if not.. it keep falling down.. n i can't take ani pic okie.. wahahas!!..

+++ To my cute, clever, lovable lover.. ahhas.. THANX MILLIONS AGAIN~.. i realli appreciate the efforts that u spent on it.. was touch n surprised at the same time.. N yup.. i'm glad i have u beside mi too.. thanx for being wif mi when i was down.. N our friendship is blooming like alwaes.. cos u r simply jus special to mi too.. ^^.. Last but not least.. I LOVE THE TINKS THAT U MADE~.. *Smoochhhhhhes lover*.. ^___________^.. +++

Ahhas.. i realise that ever since my sister went to perth.. the bond in between my lover n mi or my baobao n m i.. became so close.. ahhas.. n i guess.. that's wat friends are for.. ^^.. to pull each other up when they need it N it's oni when u r at ur most down periods u will than c those true friends that u have.. in tis.. will than we b able to walk through everytink together.. n we will stay together alwaes~.. ahhas.. Lovessssssssss~~~..

Other than the pics of wat my lover made, ah bao send mi some pics which was like taken last yr i suppose.. Its some audi stuff.. and she took the pics of it.. N those are jus so so so super duper sweet memory.. N tis sweet memory will follow us too regardless of anitink.. n it's being bonded in us.. ahhas..

So.. let the picture toks than.. but for those who dun audi.. it's kinda hard to noe the feeling lah.. ahhas.. so jus admire the pic will do okie.. haaas..

















The lvl 10 Baobao && Beibei.. x3s~..

















Wat we alwaes do.. when we r feeling down.. ahhas.. to lock ourself in a rm.. n keep toking by repeating our fav song.. which is.. "letting go by milk"..

















The One & onli Baobeis .. x33s~..

















It will neber ever b forgotten.. ^^..

















The Crazy fm that oni we 2 did.. ahhas.. duet okie~.. hoho~..

















Lastly.. the Triplets baobei .. ahhas.. noob wear.. but nevertheless.. it's the bonding that is being remembered~..

Those are the neber ever forgotten memories that we had while in audi.. N though.. it's in audi.. it came into real life from the moment we met.. ahhas.. N the friendship aka baobei relationship shall continue for eternity.. ahhas..

--- To my dearest ah bao : its realli amazing that from an audi friendship, it can develop into a rl friendship which is having such a strong bond even after so long.. Nevertheless, the bonds and everytink that we went through together will neber ever b forgotten n it will forever be the sweetest memories that we can ever have.. it's not possible to go back to the past.. but it will alwaes stay in our hearts for the happy moments that we had.. it's irreplaceable and our friendship is still blooming everyday.. ahhas.. Lovessss and and and Baobei forever~.. ---

Such a long post that i have actually blog.. ahhas.. N to end off wif everytink.. i shall post my chio bu pics for u ppls to admire k.. ahhas..



































Ermm.. it looks the same.. but it's took differently okie.. N i noe i noe!!.. that my pattern are alwaes the same.. ahhas.. but no choice okie.. i dun have much creativity to pose ani nice pose... so smiling is the best~.. Smile ppl~~~~~~~~~~~.. xD..


Alrite.. posting done.. N n.. i love lover n baobao okie.. n not forgetting my ah jie.. n "sumone".. ahhas.. *smoochhhhhhhhhhhhhhes all *..

--- Flying~~ ---

Ooo.. yup yup.. i feel like i'm flying in the air recently.. ^^..

N n.. one big big tink to announce okie.. i.......... LOVE.............. Sea breeeeeeeeeeeze~~~~~~~~~

o.O.. yup.. i love sea breeze nowadays okie.. it jus feel so so so nice n nicey n still nice when u sit at the bench over there.. n have the wind jus blowing at ur face.. nice okie.. shiok n nice.. woo hoo~~~~~~.. i have being like a loyal customer.. whose going there frequently.. ^^.. nice nice~~~~~.. i love the beach!!.. woo hoo~~.. i went to ECP last fri n than i went again on tues.. ^^..

N arh.. i'm like getting madder n madder as each day goes by.. -.-.. N i now realise.. being random n mad is so good.. cos it simply jus make mi happy.. rather than being serious all the time.. it's jus so tiring.. so... i have decided okie.. to be maddddddddddddddddddddddd as possible everyday~ every moment~ every second~.. ahhas~.. mad mad mad~~. here i come!!... ^^..

Alrite.. i have got a big big big big BIG secret okie.. hoho~.. but.. i'm not gonna put it here.. ahahs!!.. if u all wanna noe.. ask mi than.. n i shall decide whether i wan to tell anot k.. lalalas~..

OKIE!.. i gonna go be mad now.. cos i'm bored to death now.. -.-.. such a boring day today.. BOOS!!..

okie.. flying here i cum~~~~~~~~~~~... ^^..

















O.. ya.. this was taken during the clubbing nite.. lovies~.. Muacks~

++ Ah jie Ah jie ++..

hohohoho~~.. i suppose it's being quite some time u ppl c mi being high rite.. ahhas!!.. reason being for my normal self now.. all thanx to my ah jie, ah bao n "sumone" okie.. the three of them contributed n make mi not emo now le~.. ahhas~~~~..

The normal, lively, joyous, happy JASMINE LIM KAI ZHEN is back okie!!.. cum cum.. everyone kindly claps claps okie.. *claps claps*.. hohoho~..

hmm.. chatted wif my LOVE LOVE ah jie yesterday on msn.. n of course!!.. i enjoy it.. ahhas.. I LOVE U OKIE AH JIE!!.. *Smoooooooooochesssssss*.. hoho!!.. oo.. i noe u love mi too.. yup yup.. i noe i noe.. ^^.. chatted abt how's our recent life.. n how r we.. N arh.. i realise sometink okie.. i thought i was the oni one who will miss her.. but arh.. i found out!.. she misses mi too.. hohohoho~.. cos she told mi okie.. alrite.. i noe i'm being gross here.. but it's ok alrite.. cos.. it's our big big lovey dovey SISTERLY LOVE okie!!.. bleah~.. ah jie i love u arh.. ahhas!.. dun puke okie.. hoho~..

N arh N arh.. i found out that.. nowadays my hobby is.. to make ppl jealous.. =x... alrite.. i noe i'm bad for doing it.. but it's jus so fun when i was doing it mah.. can't help it though.. sorri to the person who was being sabo by mi okie.. ><..
When i told tis to ah bao.. she say i'm seriously mad.. n the screw in my head is loose until cannot le.. -.-!!.. thanx arh ah bao.. for everyone info okie.. APRIL HUANG YAN LING nickname baobao is being change to ah bao okie.. hoho~.. n tis NICEY NICEY NICE NICE name.. is given by the proud owner here.. ^^.. *waves hands and say thank you~*.. ah bao arh.. dun need thanx mi k.. i'm shy de.. *SHYS*.. ahhahahas~..

Alrite.. i'm lazy to blog le.. i shall vanish into thin air now.. thin air here i cum~~~~...

I have updated okie.. i'm hard working~.. i noe i noe.. hohoho~~..

















Ooooo.. n ya.. i was jus loving myself when i was waiting for my bro in his lorry.. hoho!!..
alrite.. THIN AIR HERE I CUM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.. ^^..

*+ i'm dug empty +*

Lots of tinks happen within tis few days..

Firstly..

My ah jie went over to perth for her studies.. which make mi emo and out of energy.. n i m still trying to adapt to the empty atmosphere that i have at home.. esp in my rm.. whenever i have people around mi.. i'm fine.. but when i'm alone.. i'm.............. *speechless*..

Secondly..

Bb~s guild matters.. which means audi stuff.. i noe.. that i shouldn't b bothered so much abt game stuff.. cos it's virtual and not real.. but from the moment we all became real friends.. it's hard not to bother.. becos.. i realise that.. it's becos of audi.. that we r having quarrels.. isn't it??.. if u realli look carefully into all the quarrels.. it all becos of audi.. N than.. after the quarrels.. it leads to real life.. as in.. whenever we had quarrels in audi, eventually we will feel kinda.. awkward whenever we meet up in real life.. though sometimes quarrels help ppl in making the bond in between them stronger.. but sometimes.. it may end up in the opposite way.. N we so coincidently falls into the opposite way part.. if we continue behaving tis way.. one fine day.. even our rl friendship may jus *poof*.. n gone.. which i dun wan too.. but when will all tis tinks end??.. it jus seems so endless isn't it.. sometinks can b solved.. but sometinks.. jus can't b solved..

becos we are the guild leader of Bb~..
we have to bear all the responsibility of everytink even when it's not our fault..

becos.. we r the guild leader of Bb~..
we have to take up the blame for those who caused the trouble even when we dunno anitink..

becos we r the guild leader of Bb~..
we are supposed to handle everytink even when we r not link wif it..

becos we r the guild leader of Bb~..
we have to take up everytink n solve it regardless of whether we r in the picture anot..

We have to do all this.. jus becos.. WE R THE GUILD LEADER..

i'm not being angry now.. neither m i pissed off now.. i'm having a clear,right n calm mind now.. that's y i m typing all tis.. in tis kinda weirdy hour.. cos i can't slp becos of tis..

I care..
becos i treasure the friendship in between all of us..

I care..
becos i dun wanna c Bb~ nor the rl friendship to be gone one day esp becos of audi stuff which is definitely not worth it..

I care..
becos i wan everyone to b happy..

I care..
N that's y i m now in the middle of the nite not slping.. becos i m being bothered by it..

But.. it realli isn't easy to handle all the tink.. like i said.. We r the guild leader.. but we r oni human.. we have feelings too.. we have our own personal life to handle wif too.. we can't possibly noe wat's actually happening to everytink that has already got out of hand.. we dun have supernatural power to handle the tinks..

i may sound harsh sometimes.. but my main motive.. is definitely not creating quarrels.. i'm not psycho n neither m i a person who loves to make trouble.. i may sound harsh too becos i m like a siao cha bo whenever i am in audi.. so whenever i starts to b serious.. the tinks that i type out jus sounds not nice.. i noe all tis.. but if i were to b kidding n also serious at the same time.. i might sound like i m jus playing around.. n tis will oni further irritate the ppl who r involved.. that's y i rather sound serious than to let ppl tink that i m playing around..

i'm already empty and tired becos of my own personal stuff.. N it jus seems like.. i'm going back to the past HBF~.. where all tis happens.. i settled once for all tis.. n i have to repeat everytink again.. when i thought.. Bb~ would neber b like them.. cos we r all not troublemaker.. we all like peace don't we??.. if not.. we wouldn't be close in the first place..

If...... i were to leave Bb~.. will it solve all the prob??.. frankly speaking.. though i love Bb~ alot.. but if i were to leave the guild.. n everytink would b fine for u all.. i dun mind.. as long as.. our rl friendship is still intact, safe n nice.. i dun mind.. i realli dun..

To add on.. sometimes.. it's not about time that is needed.. it's not abt the skills that is needed.. it's not abt the effort to make tinks better needed.. cos.. sometinks.. r jus meant not to b solved.. u can't actually change the hatred feeling that particular someone has for another person rite.. once u dislike a person.. that's it.. u may be able to tok a lot of sense to them.. but whether they will listen or they wun.. it's up to them.. sometinks r oni meant to b help to a extend.. n u can't go ani further than that.. u can changed a person tinking n feeling towards another person.. but it depends all on the person who is actually having the feeling.. like wat i said.. i shall repeat again.. sometinks can b solved.. but sometinks.. jus can't b solved.. no matter how much effort u put in..

Alrite.. i'm getting brain dead becos i tink too much le k.. i shall go rest now..

~ misses ~..

O.. i'm so so over the moon now.. cos cos.. my ah jie.. jus sms mi!!.. ><..

i miss her alot lah.. n it wun decrease k.. though i was happi at the same time she sms mi.. but.. i cried too.. =.=.. ok.. i noe i have a contradicting feeling.. but as i was in class.. i can't cry.. therefore.. i swallow my tears back.. cos i reminded myself that i'm in class.. n it's not nice to actually cry in front of them.. cos it's kinda.. embarrassing.. as i dunno them welll.. but the main reason is.. i dun like to cry in front of ppl whom i noe.. cos i dun like ppl seeing mi cry.. i jus dun like the feeling.. which is y.. i'm kinda wondering how some ppl can actually jus cry in front of ppl jus so easily n at jus anywhere..

tok wif baobao on the fone yesterday nite.. n we tok till 2am.. =.=!!.. which is y.. she's having her tsunami + earthquake now at her office.. n i'm still alrite though.. cos i'm used to it.. we chatted on a lot of tinks.. n enjoy the tok too.. i'm realli glad that she's by my side.. cos if i didn't tok to her yesterday.. i tink.. i would be busy flooding my rm again.. cos one side of the bed is empty.. my ah jie flewwwwwwwww to perth le okie.. ><..

but but.. nevertheless.. ppl~.. dun worri abt mi for those who r worried.. cos i'm fine now.. n feeling better.. though whenever i look at my rm.. i would have the feeling of crying again.. cos i jus feel that sumtink is missing somewhere.. which is my ah jie is missing beside mi.. but.. dun worri ppls.. i will b strong.. n pull through all tis.. until my sis is back from perth.. somewhere mayb in dec?.. for her holidays.. i will get to c her again.. i will b a strong n brave ger.. i will....................................................

N.. i'm meeting my chio bu baobao later on in the evening at city hall for dinner.. i dunno y.. but it seems like.. baobao is the oni person that can cheer mi up among my friends.. even when i m in a very emo mood or not in a good mood.. she alwaes manage to cheer mi up.. n put a smile on my face.. for example.. i was very very very emo yesterday becos my ah jie flew to perth.. n quite a few ppl who noes.. came to cheer mi up.. but.. it's not that i dun wanna cheer up.. but it's jus that.. i dun have the mood n neither the heart to actually put up a fake smile to u ppl.. i realli wanted to gif u all a smile.. to make u all feel better.. but.. i jus can't seems to do it.. but when i tok to baobao.. on msn in the afternoon.. after awhile.. i actually smile.. that's the 1st smile that i had after my sis left in the morning.. N.. it's oni towards her.. that i'm not so cold.. to the others.. i replied them very coldly.. which i'm very sorri abt it.. but i can't help it.. i dunno y is it tis way.. N to add on.. she feels the same way wif mi too.. =.=!!.. cos she has her own personal tink that she's not feeling good abt it too.. n.. she have got the same happening as mi.. such as treating others coldly.. though we oni noe each other for like about 1 yr plus but i find it quite amazing that we 2 can actually have alot of tinking and feeling which r the same.. Nnn.. i'm glad that i have her.. ^^..

Hmm.. wondering wat's my ah jie doing in perth now.. i believe everytink would b fine for her n she can adapt very fast.. cos she's my AH JIE.. duhz~.. my ah jie is a wonder woman okie.. n she's my ah jie regardless of what she did, who she is n where she is.. she's forever MINE!..

As promised to love n lover n baobao, i will b back to my normal self soon.. n i m now.. 80% normal.. jus that sometimes i will b a little emo k.. dun blame mi for that.. cos i miss my ah jie.. ><..

O......................................................................................................

Jasmine Lim Kai Zhen is is is is is strong!!..

yup yup.. i am..

alrite.. shoo off le..

-- She's gone for 3 yrs.. -- ..

I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong, I am strong....

I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry, I wun cry....

Basically, i flooded the Changi Airport today.. N to add on.. i flooded by papa car too when i was going home from the airport after sending my sis..

I thought...........................

I could control...

I thought............................

I could withstand the sadness of her going oversea for her studies..

I thought.............................

I am a strong ger..

But .. my tears jus whelm up into my eyes.. when we was at the departure lobby.. my tears jus roll down.. to b frank.. i was agitated by her in the bright morning.. therefore i thought i thought.. i wouldn't b able to cry even when she proceed in for her flight.. but the moment we were near the departure lobby.. i couldn't control animore.. i cried a lot of times even before she went.. so wat's more.. when she actually went into the departure section.. For people who noes mi well.. i dun cry often.. n it's very hard for mi to cry even if i'm sad over friends or relationship stuff.. dun ask mi y.. cos i dunno too.. but when it involves my family things.. i can cry like a cry baby.. i dunno y i'm like tis..

i wish....................

i can b a cold-blooded person so that people can c mi as a strong ger.. cos i dun cry..
i can control my tears even when i m sad over my family stuff..

i wish.. i realli wish...

I skip sch today.. cos i dun wan to cry in the sch.. i noe i will.. that's y i told my papa that.. n he understood it.. i'm the youngest in the family.. that's y i m doted by everyone in my family.. n that's oso y.. i m a cry baby.. when it's related to them.. cos i LOVE them alot..

I dare not keep crying in front of my parents nor my bro.. cos it will definitely make them feel irritated by it.. even though they noe i will b like tis.. but if i'm the one who keep seeing some one cry in front of mi non-stop, i would oso feel irritated too.. therefore i rather lock myself in the rm.. to cry all i wan.. cos.. that's the oni tink i can do now when i miss my sis..

i noe.. i noe.. she's jus gone for a while.. when my papa saw mi cried at the airport.. he patted my head n told mi.. ur sis is jus gone for a while.. u can save up money to visit her too.. nn.. my sis told mi tis too.. i noe all tis.. but but.. i jus can't bear to c u leave my side.. i can't................................... cos.. i can't c u as n when i like.. i can't tok to u or call u as n when i like... i can't smack u as n when i like.. i can't "sa jiao" to u as n when i like.. i can't hug u as n when i like.. i can't bully u as n when i like.. i can't ask u do u love mi as n when i like.. i can't tell u i love u ah jie as n when i like.. i can't do anitink as n when i like wif u.. after 3 yrs..

The moment i reach home jus now.. i cried myself to slp.. cos.. my sis share the rm wif mi.. n we sleep together as we shared a queen size bed.. but now.. i'm afraid of slping cos whenever i slp.. she's not beside mi animore.. it feel so empty.. n whenever i thought of tis.. my tears would roll down.. i dunno how long will tis carry on.. i realli dunno.. mayb months??.. but definitely not weeks or days...

i miss u ah jie.......................................................

















Jie jie i miss u.. ><..

+ Funeral +

o..

Firstly...

a BIG MERRY CHIRSTMAS TO MI~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~..

hoho.. cos.. cos.. my lappy charger officially went into the grave.. hmms.. ya.. meaning.. it's spoilt .. woo.. i didn't noe that actually a charger can be spoilt.. cos i mean.. it's like specially made to withstand heating.. so i suppose it wun spoil.. but!!!.. a few days ago.. it's officially fail mi.. n said BYE BYE to mi.. oo.. wat a good charger.. duhz~.. i tink i used it too much and the wire is being burnt out by the proud owner here.. ^___________^.. oo.. dun praise mi okie.. ahhas.. i noe that i'm very very "power".. xD..

Secondly..

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO MIKO LOVE~~.. ><..
sorri ya.. though it's a little too late.. but but.. i REMEMBER!!.. jus that i forgotten to blog & sms on time.. ><.. forgif mi love~.. u noe i love u~.. ahhas!.. gif u a birthday kiss k.. *SMOOCHEEEESSS*.. hoho.. x3s~..

o.. N counting down again.. my ah jie is gonna fly off to Perth in 6 days time~.. hmms.. i'm still currently trying to adjust my feelings.. n i suppose i can do it with the support of my ah jie & my families & friend eh.. ^^.. i noe u all will stand by mi.. i noe i noe.. & of course!!.. not forgetting.. with the strength of God, i will b able to overcome everytink.. as long i did my part such as trying my best.. i love u all~~..

hmms~..

Today, my mum realli piss mi off.. =.=!!.. i was wondering how in the world.. would a mother actually hack care her daughter when oni the 2 of them were at home.. n than.. the mother would have her own dinner.. n completely IGNORING the daughter of hers er??.. though it's like very NORMAL for mi.. but today.. i jus can't stand it.. i duno y too.. haas.. hmms.. mayb mayb.. i look transparent.. ooo.. no wonder she can't c mi.. i tink tis should b the case.. ahhas!..

N arh N arh..

My audi dar.. he arh.. hmms.. i'm getting more n more in love wif him.. =x.. opps.. hmm.. cos he's jus simply cute n lovable lah.. ><..

hmm~.. how should i say eh.. nowadays arh.. he imitate mi often.. ahhas.. n i would oso imitate him too.. =.=!!.. okok.. i noe it's kind of retarded to imitate each other.. but eh.. cos he imitate mi first k.. i was jus trying to return it to him.. woo hoo~.. words can't realli describe how cute is he.. unless u mix wif him.. ahhas.. he's getting more n more humorous nowadays.. n n.. he's more n more auto now.. ^____^.. love u dar~.. ahhas.. other than being humorous.. he's oso alwaes gong gong de.. which is so CUTE lah.. ><..

okok.. i shall not carry on.. if not later those we read it.. would puke sooner or later.. ahhas!..


ermm ya..

Fri nite..

i'm going for.................................

CLUBBING~!!!.. hohoho..

wif my sis, sis friends, bro, cousins, & &.. mayb my baobao they all.. ahhas.. so fun sio??.. though i dun reali like clubbing.. but but.. it's fun going wif my sis friend.. esp CINDY.. ahhas.. she's jus sooo.. hmms.. fun-loving lah.. hoho~.. N.. we dance on the STAGE k.. not on the dancefloor.. those r NO KICK.. ahhas.. it's a different feeling when u r dancing at the dance floor n on the stage.. but of course.. it depends on one courage of whether u have the courage to dance on the stage.. cos everyone would b like looking at u.. hmm.. to be exact.. mayb not looking at u.. but definitely.. everyone can c u.. as u r like at the top.. duhz~.. so it realli needs courage to dance on the stage.. so of course.. the feeling is high de k.. woo hoho~..

alrite~.. Ms Jasmine Lim have finish blogging.. n i have notink else to say.. so i shall i shall.. shoo off~.. hoho.. taas ppls~..

With lots love~.. muacks~..






















Oooooo..yup yup.. a random pic of mi wif my love love ah jie.. ^__^..

loves~~..

.. I thought it through ..

so.. i FINALLY thought it through and understand wat i should realli do.. sometimes.. it's not that i dun understand or that i m stubborn or hot tempered or watsoever u can tink of.. it's jus that i need some one to actually listen to mi.. n tell mi exactly wat is happening..

i may b..
in the picture of the whole big quarrel..

but..
i may not exactly know what is happening around mi..

N..
i ALWAES tend to misunderstand ppl..

therefore..
tis alwaes contributed to the big quarrels that i had..

cos..
i misunderstood everytink.. n than it jus *boom*..

N..
became a big explosion.. n there's goes all the quarrels..

It's obvious that nobody ever like to quarrel and have small fights here n there.. n of course.. it applies to mi too.. cos i'm jus a normal person.. i'm not a god neither m i a superwoman.. i may b very strong to everyone.. but when sometink realli crash down on mi.. esp it's related to my love ones.. i can't take it.. n i realli can't..

of course.. i noe that i muz learn to do it.. cos i'm already a 20 yr old young lady.. n it's time i learn to stand up by myself.. n to learn how to handle tinks in a calm n nice way.. n not getting emotional and flaring up when i m feeling pissed off.. i noe that.. n i REALLI noe..

But.....

i'm still learning n trying to get my way out of my comfort zone.. i'm realli trying hard.. as i have already mention umpteen times in my blog that.. my sis is going off at 16th June for her studies.. it may b notink to u ppl.. but to mi.. my sis is like.. half of my world.. without her.. it's like half of my world is gone.. do u guys understand how i feel??.. u all may tink that.. it's jus a oversea studies.. n it's not as if she gone for good.. but it's for 3 YRS!!.. it's not long but neither isit short.. though she may b cuming back once per yr.. but i have been living wif her since the day i was born.. n she neber ever left my side for more than 3 weeks before.. i've been sticking to her for 20 yrs.. how m i suppose to adapt to all tis changes that is going to happen on 16th June that i'll oni b seeing her once per yr.. n can't tok to her as and when i like it.. N can't see her face to face every moment..

i noe i shouldn't b kiddish.. i noe i should learn to live without my sis beside mi.. i noe it.. but i need time.. tis is like a habit for 20 yrs.. i can't possibly change n easily adapt to it in jus a few months or weeks??.. can i.. i can't!!.. i'm not a superwoman.. i'm not a god.. but i m jus a normal ger.. who wants to b loved.. i'm jus a normal ger.. who need time to adapt.. i'm jus a normal ger who will feel moody and throw her attitude to ppl... i noe it's wrong to gif ppl attitude.. but i realli m trying hard to try to keep quiet when i m feeling moody.. cos i dun wan to offend ani ppl wif my bad attitude.. but in the end.. it all went in vain.. i'm trying..

Who can ever understand the emptiness and sadness that i m having right now becos of my sis.. i'm jus so wear out, sad, shattered, empty, scare,helpless,useless.....................................................

but do u ppl care??.. i noe it's my fault that i flare up.. i noe i'm in the wrong.. but i realli did try to control.. u all may tink that i didn't.. but frankly speaking.. i realli did..

i'm jus.......................................... *speechless*..

i have no more strength to quarrel..

i have no more strength to explain..

i have no more strength to tink so much..

i jus plainly wan a understanding from u ppl..

is it so difficult??....

By accommodating and helping mi for jus tis few months for mi to adapt to the leaving of my sis while i try to pick myself up again.. it isn't so difficult after all rite??.. i jus need some support.. from family and friends.. but the friend tink jus seems so far from mi..

Mayb mayb..

i'm a bad friend..

that's y..

all tis happens in the first place..

** Thanx to Baobao for helping mi wif everytink.. n explaining to mi wat is actually going on.. without u.. i may not tink right.. even if i do.. it takes time.. i'm realli glad to have u beside mi.. i'm realli glad.. i realli m.. Though u r my baobao.. but indeed u seems like a big sister to mi.. which i dun deny.. n i'm realli happi that u understand mi.. n i believe u will walk wif mi down the road as i try to adapt to the changes around mi.. THANX ... i'm realli grateful n appreciate that ALOT.. loves~.. n as i promised.. i will not gif up easily even when tinks dun go my way.. i will brave through it.. n b brave on it.. as u said.. it jus need some experience and EQ.. to overcome it.. n i believe i can as u believe i can too..





















The sisters.. x33s.. ><..
but u r going off for studies soon..

But..
i will miss u often.. i will..

--- contradiction ---

hmms.. lover has gone for chalet.. n ya.. she told mi not to miss her.. ahhas!.. woo.. lover~~.. i'm "not" missing u eh.. lalas~.. alrite alrite.. dun b sad k.. ahhas.. cos i noe u love n miss urself.. ahahs!.. so it's ok rite.. ahhas..

Hmms.. yesterday.. i almost smash up my lappy.. but but.. luckily i didn't eh.. cos when i was playing audi, the toopid lappy keep lagging.. n it realli pissed mi off sio.. ><..

i dun wan it either lah.. but i tink it's becos it's sch holiday now and that's y, everyone is playing audi which make the server laggy.. n esp to my beloved lappy.. it's already a LITTLE lag.. when it's not even holiday yet.. so ya.. u can imagine how lag it would be when it's sch holiday.. =.=!!.. n it's more irritating when u press the arrows half way.. n becos of the lag, the arrows that u press isn't being recognized and thereafter it's considered that u r keying the wrong arrows.. n there goes ur whole bar.. MISS~~~~~~~~~~.. i realli ALMOST smash the lappy yesterday.. but luckily i didn't.. *phews*..

N n.. i did the license for lvling until.. i almost fainted.. T_T.. cos the song was jus sooooooooo freaking.. no beat can.. how m i suppose to perf when there's no beat.. duhz~.. that's y i keep failing failing & FAILING my lic.. n wasted all my dens on it.. duhz~..

oo.. i shall blog when i get back later on.. gonna have lunch wif my ah bu.. hoho~..

hmms.. i'm back from lunch + cycling wif my ah bu.. hoho.. quite a nice experience.. though she was playing cheat.. cos my ah bu bicycle was those motor kind.. so no matter how hard i pedal.. i still WOULDN'T be faster than her.. duhz~.. n she still told that she was using the pedal n not using the motor tink.. but no matter wat.. she's still faster than mi.. cos her's is a motor bicycle.. duhz!..

N n.. in like 12 more days.. my ah jie gonna flyyyyyyyyyyyyy off to perth.. for her studies le.. T_______T.. sumone save mi pls~~~~~~~.. i'm gonna flood singapore on that day.. cos i will definitely cry there at the airport.. which i hope i wouldn't.. cos it's kinda like no good??.. so let's pray hard that i can control okie.. * prays hard hard n harder! * ..

N we gonna have a Bb~ chalet in july 18th to 19th.. i realli do hope that tis chalet can cheer mi up.. cos at that time, my sis is already not in singpore le.. i feel kinda lonely cos i rely on her too much.. n i'm alwaes wif her.. that's y when she's off for her study in perth.. i'm kinda like left alone.. ><..
Thats' y i hope that tis chalet thingy can realli make my empty heart filled up at least a little??.. T_T..

i really hope..................................................................................................

+++
+++
+++

Alrite.. enough of the emo stuff..

Aniwae.. sumone called mi yesterday.. n ask mi tis.. below r the conversation..

sumone: if one day i were to tell u that i like u.. wat's ur reaction??..
mi: .....
sumone: i dunno y.. but i'm starting to have tis kinda feeling for u.. i'm not kidding n i'm very serious now asking u tis.. will u gif mi a chance??..
mi: u already say if & one day.. so when that day comes than u ask mi again bah..

++ End of conversation ++..

o.. if u ppl were mi.. wat would u do??.. u can take tis situation n put it into practice in case nxt time u r in tis scenario.. ahhas.. frankly speaking.. i dunno my feeling towards that sumone too.. mayb becos it's in the middle of the nite.. that's y my mind can't realli tink right.. n i dunno how to ans too.. as that qns was jus so sudden.. tinking back.. wat kind of ans could i gif??.. i dunno.. & i realli dunno.. my mind is in a mess becos my sis is going oversea.. n i'm still trying to overcome all the tinks that i would have when my sis goes to perth on 16th June.. so ya.. let's c how bah.. cos mayb u r not serious after all.. ahhas..

Jus tok to baobao.. n ya.. BAOBAO!.. I LOVE U~.. ahhas.. thanx for gifing those helpful advice.. if not i tink i will b so contradict until i'm dead.. ahhas.. love u~~~~~~.. hoho~.. N n.. JYS + GAMBATTE for ur jap exam later on~~~~~.. GO GO GO BAOBAO~~~~~~~~~.. xD.. x33s~..

alrite.. i m lazy to blog now.. so ya.. when i have the mood to blog again.. i shall.....

Empty hearted..

Suddenly.. i dunno y.. i jus feel so....... empty n lonely inside mi.. ><..

i dunno y.. but tis kinda feeling jus fills mi up.. out of sudden.. n it's eating mi up.. i feel so suffocating.. n i dunno how to describe the feeling that i'm feeling now.. cos it can't be describe using words.. u all can say that i m emo-ing or watever.. but it's not emo.. it realli isn't.. but i jus dunno how to describe it using words.. i jus suddenly feel so cold & empty inside my heart.. it's as if.. i m alone.. n no one can brk through the wall and tok to mi.. i'm jus..................... *speechless*..

i dunno wat to write and what to say at tis moment.. cos i m jus feeling so suffocating that i need to vent it out somewhere.. which is y.. i m here at tis kinda weirdy hour.. writing a post for my blog.. ><..

i realli seriously dunno wat's happening to mi.. that i m feeling so empty n cold in the heart.. that even when my beloved sis is wif mi jus now when she came home.. i jus dun feel like toking to anione.. n jus feel like hiding in my little small tinnie winnie corner.. n jus b by myself.. *i'm not acting zi bi*..

alrite.. i m jus so random-ing over here in the middle of no where.. ignore abt mi.. i'm jus getting crazy i suppose.. hope tml will b better.. ><..

i realli hope......................................

+ i dunno wat's happening.. isit becos the day r near??.. how i wish.. it neber comes.. ><.. +

+ tHe empty sHell +

alrite.. i shall update.. it's like a few days since i last blog.. reason being -- i jus simply dun have the mood to blog.. cos i have too mani tinks to say.. but i m simply jus in no mood to type it all out.. so ya.. that's y the blog is being left to collect some dust by mi for the past few days..

so Firstly.. GRATZ to baobei for getting wat u wan ya.. cherish it which i noe u will.. so ya.. wish u all the best n stay happy n fortunate alwaes.. i'm happy for u.. loves~..

ermm.. i m in no mood to write anitink now.. so.. ya.. that's all for today.. off to do other tinks..