.. I thought it through ..

so.. i FINALLY thought it through and understand wat i should realli do.. sometimes.. it's not that i dun understand or that i m stubborn or hot tempered or watsoever u can tink of.. it's jus that i need some one to actually listen to mi.. n tell mi exactly wat is happening..

i may b..
in the picture of the whole big quarrel..

but..
i may not exactly know what is happening around mi..

N..
i ALWAES tend to misunderstand ppl..

therefore..
tis alwaes contributed to the big quarrels that i had..

cos..
i misunderstood everytink.. n than it jus *boom*..

N..
became a big explosion.. n there's goes all the quarrels..

It's obvious that nobody ever like to quarrel and have small fights here n there.. n of course.. it applies to mi too.. cos i'm jus a normal person.. i'm not a god neither m i a superwoman.. i may b very strong to everyone.. but when sometink realli crash down on mi.. esp it's related to my love ones.. i can't take it.. n i realli can't..

of course.. i noe that i muz learn to do it.. cos i'm already a 20 yr old young lady.. n it's time i learn to stand up by myself.. n to learn how to handle tinks in a calm n nice way.. n not getting emotional and flaring up when i m feeling pissed off.. i noe that.. n i REALLI noe..

But.....

i'm still learning n trying to get my way out of my comfort zone.. i'm realli trying hard.. as i have already mention umpteen times in my blog that.. my sis is going off at 16th June for her studies.. it may b notink to u ppl.. but to mi.. my sis is like.. half of my world.. without her.. it's like half of my world is gone.. do u guys understand how i feel??.. u all may tink that.. it's jus a oversea studies.. n it's not as if she gone for good.. but it's for 3 YRS!!.. it's not long but neither isit short.. though she may b cuming back once per yr.. but i have been living wif her since the day i was born.. n she neber ever left my side for more than 3 weeks before.. i've been sticking to her for 20 yrs.. how m i suppose to adapt to all tis changes that is going to happen on 16th June that i'll oni b seeing her once per yr.. n can't tok to her as and when i like it.. N can't see her face to face every moment..

i noe i shouldn't b kiddish.. i noe i should learn to live without my sis beside mi.. i noe it.. but i need time.. tis is like a habit for 20 yrs.. i can't possibly change n easily adapt to it in jus a few months or weeks??.. can i.. i can't!!.. i'm not a superwoman.. i'm not a god.. but i m jus a normal ger.. who wants to b loved.. i'm jus a normal ger.. who need time to adapt.. i'm jus a normal ger who will feel moody and throw her attitude to ppl... i noe it's wrong to gif ppl attitude.. but i realli m trying hard to try to keep quiet when i m feeling moody.. cos i dun wan to offend ani ppl wif my bad attitude.. but in the end.. it all went in vain.. i'm trying..

Who can ever understand the emptiness and sadness that i m having right now becos of my sis.. i'm jus so wear out, sad, shattered, empty, scare,helpless,useless.....................................................

but do u ppl care??.. i noe it's my fault that i flare up.. i noe i'm in the wrong.. but i realli did try to control.. u all may tink that i didn't.. but frankly speaking.. i realli did..

i'm jus.......................................... *speechless*..

i have no more strength to quarrel..

i have no more strength to explain..

i have no more strength to tink so much..

i jus plainly wan a understanding from u ppl..

is it so difficult??....

By accommodating and helping mi for jus tis few months for mi to adapt to the leaving of my sis while i try to pick myself up again.. it isn't so difficult after all rite??.. i jus need some support.. from family and friends.. but the friend tink jus seems so far from mi..

Mayb mayb..

i'm a bad friend..

that's y..

all tis happens in the first place..

** Thanx to Baobao for helping mi wif everytink.. n explaining to mi wat is actually going on.. without u.. i may not tink right.. even if i do.. it takes time.. i'm realli glad to have u beside mi.. i'm realli glad.. i realli m.. Though u r my baobao.. but indeed u seems like a big sister to mi.. which i dun deny.. n i'm realli happi that u understand mi.. n i believe u will walk wif mi down the road as i try to adapt to the changes around mi.. THANX ... i'm realli grateful n appreciate that ALOT.. loves~.. n as i promised.. i will not gif up easily even when tinks dun go my way.. i will brave through it.. n b brave on it.. as u said.. it jus need some experience and EQ.. to overcome it.. n i believe i can as u believe i can too..





















The sisters.. x33s.. ><..
but u r going off for studies soon..

But..
i will miss u often.. i will..