Have you ever hope that you are able to control your feelings and emotion?
Humans are such an amazing creatures isn't it. We love tormenting ourselves and jumping into things we shouldn't and getting the end result of bearing the pain.
As the saying goes: 人都是犯贱的. The more you are not able to get certain things, the more you would want and crave for it and once you got it, you totally don't cherish it. How contradicting can we be? The passion of going all out regardless of what obstacles to get it just seems to vanish into thin air when it is finally yours.
After seeing things and going through things. It made me realise that getting married is just a part and parcel of life. It is just a cycle that one have to go through when they reach certain age.
"Love the one you marry" or "Marry the one you love".
Not being pessimistic but rather realistic that how many can marry the one you love in today's society. There are too many external factors that affects us no matter how much we do not want it to. Most people love the one they marry. I used to believe that feelings can be cultivated even if there isn't any to start with but then, subsequently I realise that feelings can't be cultivated but rather it can be classified as a habit of having the person around you. It became a comfort zone kind of thing that we would rather just stay on even if we do not have much feelings and just live with it.
If there is any thing that I ever regretted in my life, other than my bad habit issue of the psychological illness. The other thing would be why didn't I learn to cherish what I had once before. I sometimes wonder, how would things be if our relationship carried on. Would I get married to you and would you be faithful? Maybe, if I had learn to handle quarrels more maturely, things would turn out differently. I never ever deny the fact that I'm one of the cause of your infidelity. Everything takes 2 hands to clap. You are the best thing that ever happen to me and being with you was the happiest day of my life. You showed me how one can love unconditionally and many more things.
And lastly, you always have that special place in my heart which would be irreplaceable.
