lalalas~.. wahaha.. i've got notink to do now.. so i shall not abandon my beloved bloggy.. n b kind n write something to add some life to it?.. though i jus did it yesterday.. =x.. hmm.. jus read one of my friend's blog.. n i tink i some what have a same tinking that is.. losing trust in relationship thingy.. haa.. though i have not been in any relationship before but definitely there is alwaes "ai mei" here n there of mi with other ppl.. therefore tis "ai mei" includes falling in love too.. so it's equal to being in a relationship as long as the other party is like in "ai mei" wif u too.. but obviously the other party oso have to be "ai mei" wif u.. if not how is it suppose to actually b called "ai mei".. duh~.. being a BF or GF to others n the title of it.. is actually jus a TITLE.. it's doesn't realli mean anitink.. jus that u have sometink to account to ppl??.. as long as 2 person has the heart in it, even though they r not officially together n name each other as he's my bf n i m his gf, they are still consider together.. ok.. that's my part of theory.. but it sounds right.. don't i??..

Ever since someone incidents.. i have been so prone to actually fall in love with ppl.. -.-''.. that's isn't mi.. last time i m one who dun have interest in guys easily even if they were to treat mi like very good.. but nowadays.. if that person is too close wif mi.. even for a while.. i can actually easily fall in love.. -.-''.. that's bad.. n not oni bad.. but is EXTREMELY bad.. cos i dun like it.. changing the target often makes mi look like a hongster n i m NOT.. other than looking like a hongster.. i feel so insecured too.. changing n changing non stop.. i muz stop it.. i muz return to the last time mi.. who dun fall in love easily.. n can withstand it.. i MUZ.. i hope i can do it.. i realli hope.. cos i realli dun like the feeling of it..

Everyone in the whole world tink i m strong.. n i have no troubles.. n i have notink that bothers mi.. n i m a happy ger everyday.. but seriously.. i m not.. i can't animore.. not i dun wan too.. but it's wearing mi out.. i have been putting up a happy n strong face to everyone.. cos i dun wan them to c mi unhappy.. i dun wan to affect their mood.. i dun wan them to worry becos of mi.. n i wan them to b happy.. especially when they tink of mi.. as i m to my close friends.. i m a KAI XIN GUO to them.. though i m still one now.. but the feeling is jus not the same.. as compared to last time.. i m realli strong i tink.. cos no matter wat.. i dun cry easily.. not that i dun wan to... but it's jus that i cannot.. cos the tears jus wun come out even when i m realli sad n already brk down..

Sometimes even if i have my own prob.. as long as my baobao or others who r close to mi have prob.. i would throw my own things behind my head.. n try to help them feel better.. though i m feeling very xin ku at that time.. cos reason being.. i dun wan them to b xin ku oso.. it's realli very uncomfortable when u r xin ku.. n yet.. u jus seems not able to cry.. sometimes.. i realli do envious those ppl.. who can easily cry.. cos once u cried.. all ur troubles are being poured out.. n u will at least feel more relieved.. as compared to not being able to cry.. it's realli torturous.. the feeling is realli .... i dunno how to descibe it.. cos the feeling is beyond explanation n word can't describe it.. it's jus too painful..

To Zex: though he may neber ever read my blog.. but i wanna say.. sorri to him.. if i have hurt u in one way or another.. i realli dun mean to.. but we r jus.. not suitable i guess.. our character is totally different.. though that day wat u say may not b true.. n i may not have hurt u.. but aniwae.. still sorri.. for i m the one who broke it first.. hope that u find the ger that is of ur expectation soon.. n i wish u all the best..

To Bi: u take care of urself ok.. have strong determination n will power to survive through it hao mah.. i dun wan to lose u either as a friend or bi.. n stop emoing every now n than.. i will smack u de k..

To Benben: everytink will b alrite de.. dun feel xin ku animore.. i m here to help u de.. aniwhere ani time..no worries.. u r not alone.. as wat i promised u.. i will walk wif u through ur sad period.. n i will do it .. dun b sad okie.. i m alwaes here..

ok.. i seems like kind of a mother.. -.-!!.. aniwae.. i have being kind of emo-ing nowadays.. n i guess it will be continuing until dunno when.. i dunno y.. so dun ask mi y.. =.=!!.. i dun like emo-ing too.. i like to b happy go lucky kind.. but as i grow up.. i realise it's not that simple animore.. i m not like a 10 yrs old ger animore wif no problems in my head.. n jus simply slack n rot around all day round.. but it's jus life.. i got to overcome it.. n win it.. so i shall.. do it..

okie.. i have blog a lot.. i shall stop n do other things than..