Mentally tired nowadays.. regardless of anything.. i dunno exactly y i m feeling so so so tired that even slping one whole day wouldn't help me.. cos i m mentally tired not physically.. haiz.. a lot of things happen and all came n go jus like a wind.. how i hope everytink can be changed back to the past when i have no troubles and can be able to hack care everything.. but.. I NOE.. it is impossible.. life has to go on n i have to grow up each n everyday..
Counting down to my ah jie overseas studying.. it would b 1mths and 19 days.. on tis very day 16/6/08.. JASMINE LIM KAI ZHEN gonna be real independant cos my ah jie would not be here wif mi animore.. but overseas.. to ppl who are close to me.. esp my old old friends.. u all do noe that my ah jie is my mental pillars.. i can live without having a bf but i cannot live without my ah jie for long.. cos she's too dearly and precious to mi.. though i alwaes bully her.. =x.. but i still love her a lot n i mean A LOT!!.. i believe she noes it too.. though i alwaes sponge on her too.. =x.. but ah jie.. i realli do LOVE u alot.. n u r realli very dearly to mi.. u may not be seeing wat i have type here.. but i jus wanna write down wat is in my thoughts.. i realli do not noe what will happen when on that day u r going for ur studies in Perth.. i do not noe what will happen when i see u walking into the check in section at the airport.. though Perth is not far from Singapore.. but u r not by my side animore.. i can't tok to u as n well i like it.. n i can't keep asking u "ah jie, do u love mi??" animore.. i dun have ppl to tok to when i m seriously troubled n blah blah blah.. cos there's jus too mani things that i have wif her.. i dunno if i can b strong n whether i can take over all ur responsibilities that u have been carrying tis yrs.. but one thing for sure is i will try my best to do it.. n i will prove to u that ur ah mei.. is capable too.. n u will b proud of mi.. i will not let u down.. so for tis few months.. jus let mi stick to u.. n still b like a small little kids hanging around u.. cos i do not have the opportunity so often in the future.. mayb once a yr??.. when u r having ur holidays n cuming back.. i rather i share a rm wif u n let u nag at mi when i m noisy rather than u going overseas n i have the rm to myself.. i rather let u scold mi when i did sumtink wrong.. i rather.. i rather.. i rather.. u stay beside mi alwaes and not leave mi.. i rather i will alwaes b ur little ah mei..
Like wat KT told mi that day.. she said that long time ago she has already told mi that i should b independent n stop relying on my ah jie or dad.. cos they wouldn't be wif mi forever.. n i would have to noe how to support and take care of myself sooner or later.. i realli wish to.. but mayb like what u say.. i m too pamper in the family and all my family members dote on mi n i dun realli have ani troubles of anytink.. that's y i m so weak and too reliance on ppl around mi.. i will try to b independent soon.. i will..........................
Aniwae.. i shall stop blogging here le.. i m getting too emotional now.. n last but now least..
*To him.. take care okie.. dun anihow anihow.. cos u r sick.. n stop telling mi to take care of myself if u die.. duh!!.. u will not die k.. dun anihow.. *touch wood*.. i will pray de.. dun worry.. take care~..
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