1/2 in the coffin..

haishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..

Recently have been quite busy that i have NO time arh.. T_T..

Mmh.. though it's holiday now for the primary kids.. but arh.. i'm still teaching tuition.. =.=.. duhz arh.. i thought i will b resting.. but i'm not.. -.-.. Ooo.. but neber mind le.. still got income.. n for ONCE.. i choked up my hp bills to $180 arh.. n it's for ONE month.. i almost chua si.. tsk!.. neber ever i choked up so much for ONE month arh.. ><..

mmh.. going to have a BBQ outing during 12th dec arh.. n the planning is pissing mi off arh.. seriously i dun like to flare up in front of ppl n gif an attitude tone arh.. but sometimes when i have already plan the tinks nicely.. some ppl jus like to gif mi "SURPRISES".. n when they do that.. i will "BOMBBBBB".. T_T.. seriously i dun wan too.. but i jus can't control it arh.. it's like tis in EVERY case.. EVERYTIME.. there's tis problem.. i'm seriously tired of all tis le arh.. whenever i wan to plan ani outing for Bb~.. i will need to tink twice.. cos i dun wanna b disappointed once n again.. n as alwaes.. this BBQ outing isn't ani better.. though it's not as worse as last time.. but still.. it's BAD too..

haish.. y can't they jus understand the organiser feeling?!.. its realli heartbrking when my efforts is being throw down into the drain.. i dun expect them to say thanx or repay mi in ani way.. i jus merely wanted ATTENDANCE.. is that too much to ask for?!.. for the past outings.. it's alwaes last min.. therefore i dun realli blame them for not being able to turn up.. but tis time.. i have already gif such an advance notice.. but still.. i have late replies.. tis ppls realli noe how to dragggggggggggggggg n dragggggggggggggggg until the time is almost up.. shall i gif u all a trophy for being so PRO in dragging?!.. but after they drag so long.. still they can't confirm anitink.. is that so difficult to gif mi a response?!.. m i that scary that i will eat u up if u were to gif mi response?!.. m i so unfriendly to the extent that u all can't approach mi AUTOMATICALLY to gif mi ur replies?!.. do i need to act like a loan shark chasing for replies?!.. i dunno wat i can do to make tink better.. i did my best to help bring up everytink.. straining my brain to tink of outings.. straining my brain to tink of solution and ways to make tinks better in the guild.. but i can't clap alone can i?!.. i CAN'T.. everytink take 2 hands to clap.. if i were to stretch out my hand to make tinks better.. but u guys are not bothered abt it.. will i b able to succeed?!.. NO..

arh.. i dunno wat else i can say.. i'm totally speechless.. i noe that everyone has their own life.. n can't keep bothereing abt audi stuff.. but it's not audi stuff now.. it's a REAL outing.. i have my own life too .. but still i make the effort to contribute to Bb~ n not oni to Bb~ but to the friends around mi.. seriously.. i'm getting out of motivation.. i'm tired of chasing.. i'm tired of the disappointing turnout rate.. i'm tired of being treated as AIR when i blog or plan ani thing.. i'm tired of alwaes being the one who plan n initiated outings.. i'm jus FKING TIRED.. cos i dun get ani tink in return.. not as in monetary.. not as in compliments.. but appreciation.. at least.. if 4 out of 10 there's a full turnout rate.. i would b motivated enough to continue the planning n organising.. but there's NEBER once.. i c full attendance..

reason?!.. cos i'm forever fking being treated as AIR.. whatever i have said.. u all jus listen n let it out from the other ear.. n not bothered abt anitink.. until i chased for ans again.. can't u guys have some initiative?!.. is it so fking difficult to have that initiative?!.. is it realli so difficult to jus spent 1 min of ur time to gif mi an ans?!.. arh FK.. if i were to blog on tis.. i have TONS N TONS N TONS of tinks to blog.. but i'm seriously disappointed..